Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I bet he comes in French.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
