ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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