Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
