your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
