If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
