? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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