I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
