I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
