HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
