I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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