Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
