Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
