sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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