I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
