That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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