I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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