So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
