This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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