I'm really into asian looking animals
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
