How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
