Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Say something about gay babies.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I think I just sharted jello shots
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
