i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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