just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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