NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
