Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
