you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
