Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
