i permit you to call me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
