You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
