even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So many bounce houses so little time
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
