So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Too much gin, very little bucket
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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