can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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