1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
