I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
