we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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