Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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