two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
