Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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