There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
