I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
