first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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