Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
