Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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