that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
