Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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