weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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