Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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