I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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