D3 body, D1 cock
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
