Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
