my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Randomize
