Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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